W3'r3 A11 Mad H3r3
by ShadowWeasel
Summary: Shadow took to drinking. Amy took to cutting. Both ended in horrid, painful death. Both thought it was the end. Until Gantz happened. Gantz turned what they thought was freedom into fresh, new rings of hell for each to wear on their fingers. Now, forced to kill to survive, they learn the true nature of life and death. And the beautifully bloody reality of power.
1. Chapter 1

_How come no one has ever told me how good vodka and cola tasted? _

The thought echoed in Shadow's half-drunken mind as he downed another bottle of fizzing, alcoholic nectar.

_A little lemon, a little ice... _

He swallowed another shot from the bottle before it was completely emptied. His scarlet eyes gleamed with blurred delight and hangover as he used the murky insides of the glass as a telescope. Through the looking-glass, he could see the landscape that was his Wonderland. Crushed and broken corpses that had once been cans of beer and bottles of wine, cigar ashes and charred carpeting, and here and there lied a few pornographic magazines.

_... not half-fuckin-bad. _

Shadow stood dreamily from his recliner, scraping the leather with his untrimmed claws as he did so, and then wandered over to the bar where he kept his "supplies." He reached the counter after what felt like hours of half-assed dancing with the devil, realized his bottle of yummy-ummy goodness was barren, and then tossed the bottle aside with a loud crash that rang through his sore ears.

"Hey!" he yelled at the sound of shattering glass. "Shut up. I got a hangover from hell over here." He paused when no one replied. _Oh, right, _he realized. _That was me. _

His hands moved automatically and quickly with clockwork-like precision and speed. Ice here. Lemon there. Cola here. Vodka there. The black and red hedgehog's mind ran rampant with thoughts of the past as he worked. So he worked faster. Because what do you do when something hurts? You kill the pain. Prescribe medicine.

_A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down... _

But no matter how fast the ultimate life form worked, the pain always returned. Always with a vengeance. Locks of hair soft and glossy like golden silk. Eyes deep and blue like the sea. Blood hot and red like hellfire. Maria.

_The medicine go down-wown... _

Shadow stirred the mixture and crushed the ice. The sounds like tiny explosions in his eardrums. Gunshots in the distance. Innocent death on the horizon.

_The medicine go down... _

He shook the concoction of numbing-agent and tried to tune out the hellish ringing in his ears. The voices of the damned in his head. _Get the fuck out of my skull. _

_Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down... _

He didn't wait for the drink to settle or cool. His throat and brain burned and drowned in numbness and throbbing agony as he swallowed hard and fast. Quiet again. All was quiet again. But he was going to need another. And soon.

_In a most delightful way. _

**... **

Amy Rose looked wearily at the framed photograph of her hero sitting proudly upon her nightstand. The knife wavered in her hand. Her fingers grew weak around the wooden handle. Emerald eyes locked with the silver blade as she reconsidered.

_Why? _

The cool feeling of steel against the warmth of flesh. Blood pumping steadily through veins beneath the surface. The pink color of wallpaper, blankets, and cutesy painted hearts suffocated and choked. Release. Just release.

_Why, Soniku? _

The lights were dead. Darkness was the only way to live anymore. She tired of the dark. Maybe with this; perhaps the release would bring her light once more. Sonic's still grin stared her in the face. There was still the possibility of rescue.

_Why don't you love me? _

He only watched as she pressed the knife deeper into her skin. She could feel the veins compressing within. Squeezing under the weight of the knife. Not this time. This time would be different.

_Come and save me, Soniku. _

But what Amy did not realize was that there, on the brink of destruction, no one can hear you scream. No knight in shining armor. No hero to come to the damsel's rescue. No Sonic to save Amy Rose.

**... **

"Shadow the hedgehog! This is the police. Come out with your hands up!"

Shadow glanced towards the sound. GUN. They had finally found him. The bastards. Like he gave a damn.

He took a sip of his drink and found some relief. The government gave him such a fucking headache.

"Open the door and come out! No bullshit!"

_I'll show you bullshit, _he thought as he leaned back into his favorite chair. Back to Wonderland, Alice.

"We _will _shoot!"

"I know you will, motherfuckers," he snarled into his glass. Another sip. Sour. Sweet. Mind-numbing.

"We're giving you to the count of three."

He willed himself to raise his fist in the air.

"One..."

His middle and favorite finger extended proudly.

"Two..."

"Up yours, assholes," he snickered as he took another sip.

There was no third count as the bullets flew.

**... **

The blood spewed and sputtered as Amy dug the blade through her arm. She screamed in agony and begged herself to stop. _Make it stop! For the love of God, make it stop! _

But she couldn't. Not now. Not when she was already so far. The knife sawed through bone and vein. Her face was painted a hellish crimson as the juice of the damned sprayed her bedsheets and open mouth. _Make it fucking stop! _

**... **

The radio blared static and shitty music in Shadow's bleeding ears. He lowered his arm down to eye-level so he could examine the damage. The bird he had flipped would flip no more. His middle finger dangled by a fleshy, red thread, and he could see the shattered bone and gore within his knuckles.

He looked down at his torso and saw his body glistening with amber and pink stew that he could only assume was blood. There were gaping, black holes where the bullets had exited, entering the back of his chair and out his chest.

All the while, as he lay there bleeding and gurgling and choking on his own blood, the world's most unfitting music played in the background. _What the hell... I never even turned the radio... _

**Oh, it's the beginning of a brand new day. A day filled with hope... **

_Fuck. _Shadow looked at his arm. A mass of holed flesh and bone that was now shattered at the elbow. The limp limb snapped and fell to the floor with a hollow thump. Goodbye, lefty. _I don't even own a goddamned radio. _

**... **

Amy stumbled through the instensifying blackness. _Make it stop! Shut the hell up! _

**Open your hearts up with happiness, and look at the big blue sky... **

Her severed hand twitched in the pool of blood that now stained her pink carpet scarlet. The noises of hell grew louder in her ears. _Where the fuck is that music coming from!? _

**Listen to the voice from the radio with an open heart... **

Even as the music reached its loud and strange chorus, Amy's brain became quiet and familiar. Death was coming. And this was what it sounded like.

**... **

**Turn your face to the fresh winds now... **

Shadow felt the life ebb from his body as he struggled to take one last sip of his vodka. _I'm coming, Maria. _The cola-infused alcohol stung his bleeding lips and gums. _I'm finally coming home. _

**1. **

_Here... _

**2. **

_... I..._

**3. **

_... go. _


	2. Chapter 2

"Jesus. There's two of 'em this time."

Shadow's nose met oak flooring with a bloody crunch. The sounds of gunfire and the echoes of hangover-hell rang in his ears. "Shit," he muttered as he regained his bearings slowly.

His hands pushed against the ground. Hands. _Hands?_ Hadn't he lost an arm? What the fuck kind of fever-dream was this?

"Hey. You high, bro?"

The black hedgehog raised his eyes from the floor. There were several people sitting before him. One standing. All looked confused. He recognized none of them.

The one who was speaking, a grey rat, offered a helping hand. "You look like shit, dude."

Shadow took the man's hand hesitantly. "I feel like shit," he admitted.

"Same here," the rat said. "I think we all do. At least me. Who's your friend?"

The ultimate life form glanced to his right. A pink hedgehog wobbled to her feet a yard away. His face drained of color when he saw her. Amy Rose. The subject of many a wet dream that Shadow had had when he began exploring the wonderful world of porn. His eyes gave her a reflexive once-over. Her figure had only improved since he had last seen her. Sure, still a-cups, but nothing wrong with that. Hips and ass were as fine as ever.

**... **

The pain in Amy's wrists fled as quickly as it had arrived. There was now only cold and flesh where there had once been heat and hole. But hadn't she cut it... _all _the way? There was no physical way she could still be alive. _Damn. _Her head pounded and her knuckles turned white as she clenched her fists in blind fury. _Suicide's a bitch. _

"Amy Rose?"

Her green eyes flickered at the sound of her name. She was stunned to find a haunting sight to her left. "Shadow?" she breathed, uncertain. When was the last time anyone had seen the mysterious black hedgehog? Months? Years?

He stared at her with bloodshot, veiny eyes. Drinker's eyes. His body was still in prime condition, however, despite his obvious drinking problems and stench. Probably one of the many perks of being the ultimate life form. "Fancy seeing you here," he slurred.

"So does anybody know where the fuck we are?" a voice from the back of the room questioned.

Nobody answered.

Then the rat spoke up. "I'm not going to pretend I know what's going on, but..." he trailed off, hesitated, and then picked back up, "... are we all dead?"

There was a split-second of absolute silence.

Then a dog stood to his full height. He was tall. Muscular. Probably hired muscle. "How the fuck do you figure that?" he barked. "Tokyo Tower is right over there!"

He jabbed a burly finger towards a wall of glass that took up the entire right side of the room. In the distance, a tall, glowing tower of red light gleamed brightly in the night.

Amy was shocked. _I've always wanted to go to Japan, but... _

**... **

_... this isn't what I had in mind when I said I always wanted to go to Japan. _Shadow stared out the window, dazed and confused. So, if this was Japan, then how in the hell had they gotten here?

"Look," the rat was arguing. "I know I'm not the only one who just fuckin' died, alright? Fess up, all of you. Hell, maybe it'll help us figure out why we're here."

Shadow returned his attention to the rat. "You start, smartass," he snapped.

"Yeah, okay," the man retorted. "The name's Desmond. I was riding my hog home, and I decided to cut through Westopolis and grab some shit for dinner. Next thing I know, _wham. _I'm eating my own teeth and drinkin' my own blood because of some bitch on her cellphone."

The black and red hedgehog nodded when he was finished. "Shadow the hedgehog," he declared, gesturing to himself. "I got shot. Who's next?"

There was another bout of silence before the dog from before spoke up. "Name's Shaun. I got fuckin' stabbed. Next."

**... **

_Well. _Amy raised her hand. _I'm already dead, right? _"Amy Rose. I... slit my wrists."

She could feel the burning gaze of judgement on the back of her neck as she awaited the next confession. Shadow's eyes flared particularly bright.

A black cat with piercing gold eyes sighed placidly, borderline tiredly. "Katherine. I fell."

**... **

Shadow's eyes ran up and down the attractive girl in the corner, admiring her curves. _Kat the cat. Hot. _It didn't make her any less appealing when Shadow noticed the rubbery, indigo material that hugged her body and curves. Some kind of cosplay? Kinky.

"So... that's everyone, right?" Desmond asked, his eyes darting around the room curiously.

Shaun, Shadow, and Amy nodded or huffed in reply. Katherine said nothing.

Then the music started.

**Oh, it's the beginning of a brand new day... **

_Holy shit. _Amy's eyes widened with terror at the familiar tune.

**... **

_No fucking way. _Shadow watched in horror as the black ball in the center of the room began to play the same hauntingly innocent tune from earlier. How had he not noticed it before? The giant black sphere in the middle of the goddamned room.

**A day filled with hope... **

Everyone turned to watch and listen to the ghostly object before them. The black cat's eyes glinted with evil pleasure.

_**"Y0ur 1iv35 r n0w 0vur u bast3rds. H0w u u53 th3m n0w 1s 3nt1r31y up t0 m3."**_

"What the hell is it saying?" Shaun said, shivering in the presence of the orb and its anthem of death.

Shadow read it easily. Probably because he was drunk enough to think it made any sense. "Your lives are now over, you bastards. How you use them now is entirely up to me," he translated without emotion.

**Open your hearts up with happiness, and look up at the big blue sky... **

"What the fuck does that mean?" Desmond questioned. No one answered. Who the hell could?

Just above the volume of the song, Shadow heard the cat whisper from the corner. "It means that shit's about to get real."

**Listen to the voice from the radio with an open heart. Turn your face to the fresh winds now... 1. 2. 3.**

Then Gantz gave them guns.


	3. Chapter 3

Shadow was the first to speak. "What the hell?"

With a hissing click that sliced the ungodly quiet in two, the ball sprung open and divided into two pieces. Both sides that separated opened to reveal two rows of firearms each. Firearms that not even the ultimate life form recognized.

Without realizing it, Shadow found himself gravitating towards the guns, his hands instinctively picking out the most effective-looking ones and examining them thoroughly. His eyebrow cocked when faced with the x-shaped barrels and double-trigger mechanisms.

The cat was already moving, drawing a bulky rifle from the orb's innards and a small pistol from the adjacent rack.

"Guns?" Shaun grunted, hefting a rifle over his shoulder, scanning the design as he did so.

"Not like any I ever saw," Desmond remarked, turning a handgun over in his palms. "Two triggers? What the hell for?"

**... **

Amy wandered to the back wall, gazing with wonder at the black ball. Her eyes drifted to the thing's exposed insides as she began to circle it warily. Then she spied the small shelf-like compartment on the bottom of the orb. "Hey, look at this."

Everyone turned in her direction.

"It's..." Amy peeled a pair of suitcases from the compartment and struggled to read the engravings on them. "... well, I'm not sure what it is."

Shadow approached her and outstretched his hand. "Let me see," he demanded.

She tossed him a case, and he took a moment to examine the text on the box. Black, bleeding letters similar to the ball's eerie language were printed on the steel outsides. "These are... names," he said after a while. "I think this one says Shaun."

The dog hurried over to see. "Fuckin' hell, it's got my name on it." He cringed when faced with actrocious lettering. "Damnit, it's spelled wrong. Huh... 'puppy-dog'? What the fuck?"

**shaWN-puppy-d0g! XD**

Amy located one that had her own name painted on the front.

**AmY-chan ;) **

_Freakin' creepy. _She shuddered as she pried the box open.

**... **

"So what's in it?" the rat asked eagerly as the dog tore open the labeled packaging.

Shaun paused when he finally opened the case. "The fuck?" He pulled a long, indigo, latex-like suit from the box and stared at it awkwardly. "It's fuckin' cosplay."

The ultimate life form recognized the material quickly; it was the same stuff the cat was wearing. "Hey," he said, turning to face Katherine, who stood idly in the corner once more. "You're wearing one of these."

She glanced down at herself as if noticing it for the first time. Then she turned back to Shadow. "What's your point?"

"My point is," he explained in a level tone, despite noting the arrogance in her voice, "you must know what they're for." He waved to the suit in Shaun's hand, who was busy letting Desmond examine it. "So what're they for?"

Katherine was silent for a moment. The milk-white insides of her ears flicked to and fro as she pondered, and then her fangs gleamed when she finally sneered, "They give you super-powers."

Shadow sighed after a while. _Fine. Don't tell me. _He meandered over to Amy's position in order to find a suit of his own. _First time I'm sober in years, and I have to put up with this bullshit. _

The girl had already found the last two cases and deciphered their inscriptions. "Here," she said, throwing one to Desmond and one to Shadow.

**D35m0nd :3)~ **

**SHAD0W-sama :) **

Desmond let out a fake chuckle. "Oh, har-de-fuckin'-har."

**... **

"So... hold on a minute."

Amy looked up from her suit and saw Shadow talking. His forehead was crumpled and his eyes were shut. He pinched his temples between his forefingers. _Probably fighting another hangover. _

"So just what the hell are we supposed to be doing?" he asked. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I kind of figured on being six feet under right about now. Then a black ball spits a bunch of guns and latex at us and what? Does any of this make any goddamned sense to the rest of you?"

"Shadow," Amy commanded, standing and coming around the ball to face him. She held the suit and case tightly to her breast as she spoke. "None of this makes any sense. But it's not going to help if we stand around talking about how freaky it is."

"Oh, piss-off, Amanda Todd," Shadow snapped. "Flash your tits or shut the fuck up so I can hear myself think."

Amy's bad temper flared. "Hey, fuck you! When the hell did you get to be such a goddamned pervert?"

The black hedgehog stormed forward and jabbed a finger towards her face. "When the hell did you get such a fucking mouth on you?"

"Both of you shut up!" Desmond ordered. The gun was in Shadow's face before any of them realized it. "Or I'll blow your goddamned heads off!"

Shaun panicked in the background of the fray. "Christ, dude! You'd kill 'em for shouting at each other?"

"We're already dead, right? Who gives a shit?" The rat pressed the alien weapon against the hedgehog's skull.

"Oh, whoop-de-fuckin'-do!" Shadow crowed, the remainder of his drunken haze returning. "You want a burger with that toy, asshole? What're you trying to prove with that plastic piece of trash?"

"All of you, shut the _fuck _up!"

Everyone turned. It was the cat.

**... **

Shadow, even with a gun pressed to his head, couldn't help but admire how sexy Katherine was when she was pissed. _Oh, shit. Is she naked under that suit? _

"Listen up," she barked, glaring around the room, "all of you. You want to know what's going on so fuckin' bad? Look." She tapped the shiny orb before them with the butt of her rifle, and a clinging noise resounded through the apartment. "The ball's called Gantz. He's the motherfuckin' beginning and the motherfuckin' end for us bastards."

Desmond snorted. "The ball's got a fuckin' name?"

_Keep laughing, dipshit, _Shadow thought as he drove his elbow into the rat's stomach. The man doubled-over in pain and cursed loudly. His gun fell to the ground with a metallic clatter.

"Jesus, that hurt!" he cried, clutching his gut in agony.

"See?" Katherine suddenly said, approaching the ultimate life form confidently as she spoke. "It's asswipes like ratty here that'll get you killed." She turned to Shadow. "And balls like this guy's got will get you home safe."

"Wait a second," Shaun pleaded, shaking his head. "Home safe? Get us killed? Just what in the hell are you talking about?"

And Gantz spoke to them once more.


End file.
